Spelling, On a Projector

The vendor is typing notes that appear on the wall via projector.

He types “custermer.”  The group exchanges looks, trying to decide who tells him.

And when my boss does, I find one more reason to love her.

The Gastronomical Me

Ah food.  How I love you so.

I’ve been introduced to some incredible food the past two weeks.  None of it has been healthful.  Most of it has been tasty.

Let’s start there.  Tasty.  Coon Tasty cheese.  It’s cheddar cheese from Australia, and it is indeed tasty.  Then of course there are Tasties, the cheese curls I’ve become addicted to.  Oh, and of course Tim Tams, but I already knew I loved those.

Plenty of bad food, and that’s before the Land of Bread.

I’d been looking forward to my return to Singapore, because I remembered the delicious Chili Crab and Black Pepper Crab.  They didn’t disappoint me.  Delicious tender whole crabs, smothered in spicy sauce.  (I just lost my dad there, who probably thinks that is cruelty to crab.)  But the highlight of this trip to Singapore has been the remarkable bread shops I’d never noticed before.

Shops are called “Bread Talk” and “Toast” and “Grow Your Butt By Eating Bread.”  You walk in and pick up a tray and (OH HOW I LOVE THIS NEXT PART) your very own tongs.  When you have severe food allergies, you have to be wary of using utensils other people have used.  Other people have no problem using the tongs for the plain, safe food on the peanut-filled, poisonous food.

OK, so now that you have your tray, you go to all of these little compartments that have any kind of bread you might imagine.  There are plain white rolls.  Fluffy, light, perfect rolls.  Then there are cheese rolls.  Oh, keep walking and you’ll find the triple cheese rolls.  That one there?  That’s a ham and cheese roll.  Beware the chicken curry roll, which is tasty but surprisingly contains beans.  (Benadryl? Check!)  I had to avoid the tuna rolls, but maybe you’d want one.  Every savory filling you could imagine, in the best bread ever.

And then the sweet rolls.  Mocha, chocolate, apple, raspberry, cranberry.  Powdered.  Sugared.  Sprinkled.

I’ve made three meals already out of just bread.  Each meal cost less than $3 US.

I leave tomorrow.  Good-bye, my friend bread.  Once I’m back in the US, it’s hello Weight Watchers.

** I forgot all about the caramel and sea salt ice cream.  Yowza.

An Idiom By Any Other Name

Overheard in Singapore: “It cost an arm and a hand to buy.”

Admittedly, that is a dear price.

Practice Run

I’m in Singapore after a lovely time in Australia.

Today is my prep day, as I make sure I am prepared to teach the four classes I have over the next two days.  Channeling my grandmother, I went out today to “practice” my route to the office for tomorrow.

Side story: Grandma McCarthy, when she used to drive more, would do a practice drive before she had to go somewhere.  Most famously (in my family, at least) she once drove from Grand Rapids, MI to Kalamazoo, MI (about 60 miles) to make sure that she knew the route.  She had to be there the following week for a lunch.  So she picked a day the previous week and drove from GR to K-Zoo.  And then turned around and drove home, just to make sure she knew the route the following week.   Just to make sure she knew the route.  (It warranted repeating.)

So keeping my wise Grandma McCarthy in mind, I went out today to find my office.  I’d booked my hotel because it was supposed to be right next to the office.  Oh, and did I mention that the office is on Orchard Road, famous for shopping?  No?  Hmmm, yeah, it has some shopping.  Of course, Singapore has shopping.  Loads and loads of shopping.  I used to think that Singapore had as many shopping malls as West Michigan has churches, but now I realize that Singapore has FAR more shopping malls that West Michigan has churches.  I think shopping is the national sport.

So leaving the hotel to go out to Orchard Road wasn’t a hardship.  Oh, except for the heat.  And humidity.  And steam coming off of me after walking a block.  I’m not straightening my hair here, because really– why bother?  So I left the hotel with slightly damp hair.  I returned to the hotel with wet hair.

Anyway, I had the address of the office written down, and headed out to find it.  Of course, shopping malls rarely have addresses listed on the front, so after a few blocks, I had no idea if I was going in the right direction.  I saw an office lobby and stopped in to ask the address.  The guy working the desk said some words I didn’t understand.  “Um, I’m looking for 91A Orchard Road.  Do you know where that is?”  It was his turn to stare back at me.

“Do you know what it’s called?  What’s the building called?  I know what all of the buildings are called.”  Wasn’t it just called 91A Orchard Road?  No?

So I ask, “What is the number of this building?”  He has no idea.  He looks in some papers.  He calls someone.  Finally he learns it is 435 Orchard Road.  My hotel is 333 Orchard Road.  I’m going the wrong way. I thank him and move along, back in the other direction.

I’ll spare you the pain that was the rest of this excursion.  The other way wasn’t right either.  There was no 91 to be found, let alone 91 A.  Oh, and in Singapore, the odds and evens go in opposite directions.  So while on my side it went 435, 333, and so on, on the other side of the street, the numbers went 280, 320, 440, 520.  Causing more confusion.

I finally returned to the hotel and looked up the address on our intranet.  91A.  What. The.  Hell.  I turned to Yahoo! Singapore.  I searched for the name of my company.  I found a listing!  The address of our office is actually 391 Orchard Road, Ngee Ann City Tower A.  That little digit “3″ is super important, it turns out.

No Wukkas!

I’m in Sydney on a business trip.

I love my job.  I just got to say that I’m in Sydney on a business trip.  And today I did the most challenging part of the trip and it went great.  The rest of the week only gets better.  Plus, FilmChris shows up tomorrow, and at the weekend we go stay with dear friends in Newcastle.

Next week I teach four courses in Singapore.

Did I mention I love my job?

I also love Australia, even though I know that is ridiculous to say because I’ve only been here 12 hours.  But hey!  It’s the second best country to live in.

Antidote to Annoying

The other day, a vendor at work kept saying “antidote” in the following way:

“When you give antidotes in class, maybe only use one or two.  When you use three or more antidotes, you really eat up time on the clock.”  The instructor to whom he was speaking nodded, but looked a little confused.  I would have been too.  If an antidote is any good, you should only need one, right?

Should be the same for ANECDOTES.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Exactly Right

Remember when I was looking for hard-to-put-down books?  You all sent me some great ones.  Check out “What I’m Reading” to see what I followed up on.  I’ve had an excellent string of books that I just didn’t want to put down.

For my birthday, FilmChris gave me  Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I’d seen it in the bookstores and read The New York Post review.  But I didn’t feel the urge to rush out and get it.  As usual, my dear husband knows best.  This was a funny, brilliant, oh-my-god-I-can’t-put-this-down book.

Now, I hope you’ve read Pride and Prejudice. If you have, you already know about Elizabeth Bennett’s intelligence, beauty, and wit.  What you don’t know, though, is about her fierce zombie-fighting abilities.  She studied with a reputable master in China, and practices in the Bennett dojo with her sisters every day.  She is committed to defeating the armies of death.

If you haven’t read the orignal classic (as FilmChris hasn’t– sorry to out you, babe) this is a wonderful opportunity for you.  Two birds, one stone. Mr. Darcy comes out just as dreamy when he’s slaying the undead.

I was nearly done with the book the other day on my commute home.  The train pulled into my station before I was done reading though.  So I finished reading it on my walk home.  Just the day before, I watched another commuter reading while walking down the street, and thought “Now THAT’S a good book.”  Yep.  So was this one.

A word of caution, though.  If you should be reading this book in public, you will find yourself laughing out loud.  Just be prepared for it.  I hope the people around you take it as a testament to the book’s quality.

Spell Check, Folks. It’s Not New.

I had a vendor who wants to create on-line courses for me misspell “occasionally” as “occassionally.”  Listen, if you can’t be bothered to use spell check, I can’t be bothered to pay for your services.

Vanity Fair Edits Sarah Palin!

Vanity Fair, how I love you.  I recently lamented the terrible writing in Sarah Palin’s resignation, but didn’t have the time, fortitude, or red ink to edit it.  Vanity Fair had all three.  Read their edit here.

Enjoy!  If you are a grammar geek like me, you can consider it a mini-holiday.

___

Update:  Thank you, Jeff, for this link.  I actually find diagramming sentences to be therapeutic, but you might not all agree.   But it is enlightening.  My favorite part of it is this sentence, when the author is trying to diagram a particularly twisted sentence:

“I had to give up. This sentence is not for diagramming lightweights. If there’s anyone out there who can kick this sucker into line, I’d be delighted to hear from you. To me, it’s not English—it’s a collection of words strung together to elicit a reaction, floating ands and prepositional phrases (“with that vote of the American people”) be damned. It requires not a diagram but a selection of push buttons.”

Merriam-Webster Announces New Words!

It’s my favorite time of year again. Haven’t you been waiting for it?  Yes, there’s nice weather all around and time for staycations.  But I’m talking about Merriam-Webster’s new words!

What’s that? You’ve never heard of a “staycation”? Well, now you can find it in the dictionary.

For the second year in a row, I’m happy with a few of the entries.  I like “fan fiction” and “waterboarding.”  (Well, that the word exists in the dictionary, not that the practice exists.)  Plus, I always wondered if that particular torture should be hyphenated, and now I know it shouldn’t be. 

But did we need “frenemy” and “green-collar”?  “Memory foam” is useful in some circles, I suppose, as is “zip line.”  And “sock puppet” isn’t new (it was new in 1959) but has a new secondary definition you might not have known. 

Go enjoy these new words, folks.  If you can use each one in a sentence (correctly) by the end of the weekend, I’ll send you a present.