INT- Messy California Apartment- Early Evening
CHRIS goes to shower after a long, dirty day with the dogs. SANDRA takes the opportunity to quickly wrap a birthday present and leave it on the couch.
Sandra walks down the hall, smiling and humming to herself. She opens the bathroom door, greeted by steam.
Sandra: So I’ve made a decision.
Chris: Oh?
Sandra: Yes. Since I can’t take all of your presents with us to Hawaii, I am going to give you-
Chris: HAWAII???
Sandra stares into the mirror, pauses for a moment, and then runs from the bathroom. She slams the door behind her. Once down the hall:
Sandra: FUCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slowly, she walks back toward the bathroom and bangs her head on the door. More obscenities are shouted.
Chris: (From behind the door, muffled) Sweetie?
Sandra: (opens the door, whimpering) OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. Thirty fracking people know about this trip, and I am the dumbass who told you where we’re going. OH MY GOD.
Sandra crumples to the floor in the middle of the hallway. OBI studies her.
That’s right, folks, I’m the dumbass. We were in the homestretch, with a “Countdown To The Ozarks” on the refrigerator whiteboard. Then I got careless and forgot, because I was excited about presents.
So, thank you all for being good at keeping the secret. I am the one who sucks.
